Fun in Texas (yes, it is possible)

I had my list of people to see while I was in Texas, and I got to almost everyone... One person in particular was my Lizard- and not just because I missed her smiling face, but I had committed to do something just for her...
I lived with Elizabeth for a year, and in that time I learned all kinds of fun facts! Fact: Lizard likes red wine. Fact: Lizard forgets to blow candles out before leaving the house. Fact: Lizard sings like an angel- in distress. And most importantly for this story... Fact: Lizard hates unshaven legs. This is the kind of information you have to do something special with! Ladies, what sucks more than shaving? Yes, good answer- shaving in the cold! And New York was cold, so what was I not doing? Shaving! (Readers at this time should know exactly where this is going unless you have no sense of humor or do not know me at all.) I talked to Elizabeth about a week after I moved and somehow leg shaving came up and I commented that I hadn't made that a priority since pants were a staple in my dresscode. She just couldn't believe it- she actually sounded more scared than disgusted! An idea was born! Mwaahahahahahahaaaa! I committed right then and there to not shaving my legs so that when I came home I could rub them on her. Hilarious. I kept my word- and it was really hard sometimes- but I had to see this through! The best part was that she forgot. I went to see her and Pie for wine and bull-shit like the good old days and then... BAM! LEGS! Lizard freaked and squealed as I had hoped. Pie put her hand over her mouth and looked genuinely concerned for my health and safety. I assured them that since my mission had been completed I would shave. I left that night feeling very accomplished and happy. It could have been the 3 bottles of wine we knocked out though...
Being home for Christmas allowed me to be there for Traci's birthday! YAY! I had alllll kinds of great birthday activities in mind- laser-tag, ice-skating, putt-putt... but nooooo, she wanted to be all adult and go have sushi. Selfish bitch. :) The sushi was perfect, the company was fantastic, the beers were cold, the darts were so far from the bullseye we quit...
The only downfall of the evening was that the bar closed at 2. I have really adjusted to this open til atleast 4 thing the bars have going on in NYC... But fear not, there were still drinks to be made and games to be played! FINALLY... WE HAD 4 PEOPLE FOR SPADES! Yes, that's right, it is that exciting. Traci, Andy, and I are game players... heavy duty game players always in search of a fourth. Joseph was our fourth that night... that glorious, ridiculous night. We awoke well rested the next afternoon. I checked my phone and saw that my mom had sent me a text: Steaks for dinner. Holy crap... life couldn't get any better. Oh, and she wanted to watch How To Train Your Dragon. Score!
It was rainning like crazy outside and I couldn't see any lines on the road, but I didn't need vision while driving because I had something stronger leading me home. Steak.

Christmas Vacation Continued...

So... when I last left off I was heading to Santa Land- a crazy place oozing the holiday spirit near College Station, TX. I wasn't going for my own personal enjoyment... especially since I was pretty hungover and nothing is better for that than millions of twinkling lights and the smell of funnel cake and horse crap :) I was going with Buddy and his family- taking the kids. They had a blast. The place is pretty cool (and I can only imagine the amount of money they make) and I got to pet a llama... so all in all it was a fantastic night!
I devoted the next day to last minute X-mas shopping with the brother. I have to say- Joseph and I come up with some pretty amazing gift ideas. We always have to throw something funny in the mix... a surprise... a bit of flair! For those of you who know Tony, my pops, you can only imagine the joy he has gotten out of little stocking stuffers like the "positive thoughts keychain" and the oh-so-useful golfball monogrammer! Ha! Oh but I think our best was when we bought some cheesy and cheap lingerie and wrapped it up- of course labling it to our mom from our dad... CLASSIC! The look on their faces was the real gift- and Joseph and I benefited from it most. Ahhhh tis the season! This year we kept it pretty basic... replentish the usuals...
I don't know if yall are aware, but for the last 3-4 years it has become a running joke for my mom to buy the family matching pajamas that we are required to wear on X-mas Eve. It started as a heart-warming fun joke thought up by mom and my aunt but has turned into a tradition. I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a kick out of it, as well as new pajamas. We put on our pj's, watch the Muppet Christmas Carol, and call it a night. This is a present to my mom (and probably the best one since she loves promoting family togetherness).
Speaking of togetherness... I get my yearful at X-mas time because after we do our thing, we pack up and load into a vehicle and drive 6 hours to Louisiana. This year was especially exciting since my dad decided to be moody and not talk to us from the start. He also didn't seem to hear me when I said I was hungry or had to pee. We were allowed those luxuries when he was damn well ready. We never found out the reason for his increasing unpleasantness but as soon as we got to my aunt's he was allll smiles.
Both sides of the family are in LA and Christmas with each couldn't be more different. Not that one side is more enjoyable or anything- it's open bar vs. dumplings... tough call. We do the hugs and the "how are yous,"  re-address all the inside jokes, bring up embarassing memories, and make promises to see eachother more than once a year (which we never keep). After a day with each side we loaded back up and started the journey back. Dad resumed his silence, Mom read, Joseph gamed, and I bitched :) GOOD TIMES!